Living Abroad and Spending the Holiday Alone

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe for some. For others, it’s the loneliest time of the year. For expats like me, spending holidays like Christmas away from home can be difficult. Expat depression tends to hit a little harder during this time of the year as well. It is easy to get sad and dread the holiday. People around you are soaking up the Christmas spirit and enjoying the festivities with their families. And you are alone, thousands of miles away from yours.

Spending the holiday alone is the not so glamorous part of moving abroad. I remember my first Christmas alone, very pitiful. I had no idea what to do with myself. I spent the holiday sad, wishing I could be home with my family like everyone else. Over time, I have found different ways to make the holiday fun for me when I’m alone. Here are some things to do if you find yourself alone during the holidays:

1. Connect with expat peers

It helps to connect with expat peers or other peers alone for Christmas. I have had really special Christmases alone with some of my international friends. We found creative ways to enjoy Christmas in our off-campus apartment while the rest of the college was away. I see a bunch of my international friends connecting with each other for the holiday and it warms my heart.

2. Accept that holiday invitation

If you get an invitation to a Christmas party, accept it. If your friends from school invite you over for the break, it might not be a bad idea to accept the offer. Take that chance, you might be surprised. You get to be around people and celebrate. Sometimes you might even enjoy some good food, depending on the company. I have lucked out with spending Christmas with my friends and their families. Such good times.

3. Connect virtually

Another way to get through Christmas alone is to connect with your loved ones virtually. I spend a good amount of time calling my family back home during the holiday. Speaking with them makes me feel better. Although it’s through a screen, they make me feel less alone.

4. Engage in some Traditions

you can keep up with your old traditions or make new ones. It’s your holiday, you get to do what you want. I do a combination of both. As a Nigerian, it is never fully Christmas without cooking a feast. There must be rice and stew, or Jollof, or both. That is a Christmas tradition that stays with me. On the other hand, one new tradition I have adopted is going to watch Christmas lights display. There is something magical about it. While I can’t help but worry about their light bill, I love the experience.

5. Get some me-time in

When I’m alone for Christmas, I spend the day doing all the things I find enjoyable. I binge-watch my favorite Tv shows. Gilmore Girls work every time. I cook myself a great meal and sit comfortably on my bed, eat and watch TV. This would also be a great time to read that book you’ve been putting off all year. Go explore your city’s downtown. Treat yourself to your favorite ice cream. I don’t know about you, but I love any good excuse to eat some Rocky Road.

6. Create a vision board

This might be a good time for you to set your intentions for the coming year. Spend some time writing out your goals. Get creative. Create a vision board to begin manifesting your goals for the coming year. Have fun with creating the reality your mind desires.

7. Solo Trip

If you have the means and resources, take a trip. Solo travel also allows you to actually meet new and interesting people. Step out of your comfort zone and discover parts of yourself. A good travel experience is priceless.

8. Volunteer

Volunteering during the holiday is a good way to spend your time. It keeps you surrounded by people while making a difference. It also helps take the focus off your loneliness during this time. It makes you purposeful, which is a good way to feel. You also get to put smiles on people’s faces.

9. Stay off social media

I cannot stress this enough. Stay off social media for the sake of your mental health. Holiday FOMO hit differently. Being on social media can add to expat depression. You’ll enter the rabbit hole of scrolling endlessly through your feed. You will find yourself staring at people’s holiday photos, wishing that was you. In order not to add salt to injury, stay off social media. 

10. You don’t have to celebrate

It is Jesus’ birthday, not yours. There is no rule book where it states that the Christmas celebration is mandatory. It could just be another day for you. Take the pressure off yourself from needing an elaborate display of festivities. If you’re not feeling it, that’s okay too. If all you did was get through the holiday, you have done well.